poem Archives - Stories of Life by the Sea

Why me?

Noe Lineses — Sun, 25 May 2025 11:46:24 +0000

I asked myself, “Why me?”Why must I suffer so very much?Why this sickness, this chain I drag,Why not death? Wouldn’t that be kinder? I cannot live like others do—To run, to laugh without this weight,To enjoy a meal, a walk, a breath,To cherish time with those I love. Each session drains my strength, my gold,This treatment—my reluctant lifeline.Yes, we are often called perwisyo,Burdens to the ones we love. And yet…Why not me? Did I not abuse this borrowed body?I drank, I feasted, I ignored—Each doctor’s word, each warning sign.I wasted chances, two and three,Until the door to healing shut. Too late to turn this ship around,Too late to save what once was strong.Too late—yet not undone. For why me?Because I still can. I can choose joy in quiet ways,I can find purpose in this pain.I can be light for someone elseWhose nights are darker still than mine. Regret may whisper in the wind,But I will raise my voice in hope.Use me, Lord, despite my scars,Use my hands, my mind, my past—To build, to bless, to lift, to love. Let our business grow in grace,Let bills be paid and peace remain.Let my wounds bear sacred fruitFor those I cherish, for Your name. Lord Jesus, have mercy on us.For each breath You lend, I give You thanks.For love that stays through storms and fear—For You, who never turned away. I love You. I trust You. I will rise.For even now, my life is Yours.Amen.

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Dear Kidney

Noe Lineses — Wed, 21 May 2025 15:28:10 +0000

HELLO my dear bean-shaped buddy.I know we’ve had our ups and downs—mostly downs, like… actual filtration failure.But I just want to say: I love you. Deeply. Organ-ically. You’ve been through a lot, filtering my drama, my bad decisions, and that unlimited barbecue night in 2018.You never complained… well, until now. Please get well.I believe in you! Because hey, if Jollibee can defeat McDonald’s in the Philippines, then nothing is impossible.You can get well. My body is rolling up its sleeves (well, cells don’t have sleeves but you get the point).We’re going to fix you. Together. Like true ride-or-die besties. I promise to take care of you—no more salty snacks, no more soda binges, and DEFINITELY no more “cheat weeks.”From now on, it’s healthy food only. Only things that make you happy. I was given a second chance, and honestly…I wasted it like a diet plan during fiesta season.I regret not taking you seriously. But now I’m begging you, literally on my metaphorical knees:Please, give me one last chance—A chance to be normal,To be free from needles and machines,To pee like a boss again. With love, guilt, hope, and a new grocery list,Your Human.

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Sanctuary

Noe Lineses — Wed, 21 May 2025 03:01:33 +0000

In this space, I am safe—Beyond the reach of judgmental eyes,Far from the noise of hollow praiseAnd the laughter of the unwise. Here, I speak with no restraint,My thoughts unfold, my sorrow thins.I keep my hands and mind engagedTo drown the ache that dwells within. Regret is a shadow I dare not feed,Nor bow to fate that breaks the strong—Even lions fall to silent needs,But I will walk, and I’ll belong. For love, I carry every weight—For my children, for my wife.Their hope gives meaning to my breath,Their dreams, the purpose of my life.

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Invisible

Noe Lineses — Wed, 21 May 2025 02:35:49 +0000

I don’t see you.I don’t hear.You are invisible to me,like a god who turns His backon the soul that once kneltin trembling prayer. What did I do?I gave.I gave more than I had.Good deeds not for glory,but for love,for you.But you tossed them aside—and crowned my enemieswith laughter and gold. They dance in the light.I wither in shadows.They feast.I fast on fury,a hunger that growsinto bitterness. So I left.Left the noise, the world,the stage I once stood onwith hope in my hands.Now I walk unseen—a ghost in life,wishing to disappearbefore death even knocks. There is fire under my skin—anger that whispers,“This was your fate,your wasted, twisted script.”But I did not write this.I just lived it.And no one caredto read the painbetween my lines. So let me fade,but remember this:Even the invisibleonce burnedwith loveand light.

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Through Suffering, I See

Noe Lineses — Tue, 20 May 2025 23:23:03 +0000

Through suffering, I walk the shadowed path,A thorn-strewn road that breaks me down.Pain carves its name upon my soul,Bringing me low, bringing me near the ground. But from my knees, I lift my gaze—To heaven’s throne, to mercy’s light.I whisper prayers through silent tears,“Lord, please, a miracle tonight.” In weakness, I find strength anew,When I reach for hands that love me true.My brother stands, no longer far,His heart now close—my guiding star. My sisters’ eyes, they shine with grace,Their care a balm I can’t replace.Their patience wraps around my days,In quiet love, in countless ways. And oh, my children—my heart’s own flame,How deep my love, how sweet your name.If time were mine, I’d give you more,But I trust in God, and not the shore. This suffering has taught me much—That gold is found in gentle touch,In kind words said, in pain endured,In love that stays and hearts assured. This life, a vapor, soon will pass,The glitter fades, like shifting glass.Illusions fall, the truth remains:To love, to serve, through joy and pain. And when I reach that final day,May I hear my Savior say:“You did good, you loved with grace—Come, enter now My dwelling place.”

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The Life of Waiting

Noe Lineses — Tue, 20 May 2025 02:38:41 +0000

I live a life of quiet wait,A rhythm marked by patient fate.Each morning starts with hope restrained,By lines and tubes my flesh has gained. I wait for her, my gentle guide,To wrap this wound I cannot hide.Her hands, like grace, move soft and slow,To seal the place where lifeblood flows. I wait for meals, the scent, the steam,Small joys that drift into a dream.Each plate she brings, a gift of care,Each bite a prayer, each glance a dare. I wait to go to Calapan,Where steel and light and hums began.The road is long, the day is pale,But still I ride, so weak, so frail. I wait within the clinic’s walls,As silence echoes through the halls.A name is called—it isn’t mine.So still I sit, I mark the time. I wait to feel the needle’s sting,The cold touch of the sterile wing.And once I’m tied to humming breath,I lie in wait, defying death. I wait for nights to bring release,For sleep, for stillness, fleeting peace.I wait for the call of my siblings,My children, whose voices make my spirit sing.They are the light that warms my days,The ones I cherish in countless ways. I wait to die—but not in vain,I wait with faith, I bear the pain.I wait for grace to kiss my brow,Not yet, not here, not even now. A miracle may yet arrive,To not just help me cope—but thrive.This is my life, this sacred state,Of longing, ache, and silent wait.But love surrounds each passing day,And in that love, I find my way.

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In This Hell, I Still Pray

Noe Lineses — Mon, 19 May 2025 10:59:02 +0000

I have been living in hell since that day in March,A torment no soul would dare to march.The weight of pain, too cruel to bear,I wished for death, gasping for air. One month passed in hospital beds,Fear and anxiety danced in my head.Helpless I lay, broken inside,Yet God, in mercy, did provide. The bills were paid, the storms held back,And I found the strength to stay on track.I ran once more with a battered soul,But lost so badly—it swallowed me whole. Depression haunts this hollow frame,Hope flickers low, a dying flame.Yet in this dark and endless night,My brother’s love is still my light. My sisters’ care, my son EJ’s smile,My wife beside me all the while—They hold me here, they pull me through,Though joy feels far and faith feels few. O God, I cry with heavy breath,Please guide me far from living death.Teach me to pray, to trust, to grow,To smile again, to truly know— That I am not beyond repair,Even in this deep despair.Let not my life weigh down their own,Don’t let me be a burden sown. Thy will be done, I kneel and plead,Rescue this soul in urgent need.Give me strength, O Lord above—To live, to heal, to rise in love. Amen.

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At the Dialysis Center

Noe Lineses — Mon, 19 May 2025 10:56:57 +0000

(a quiet prayer) I wait for my turn,as the machine we dread hums on —cold and lifeless,yet the very thingthat keeps us clingingto breath,to time. Around me sit the others —some new, still trembling,and the veterans,those who have done this for years,their arms marked by battlesfought in silence. We are many.The young, the old —but mostly the frail.The rich come too,but more often,it is the poorwho fill these chairs. Hope here is thin —a thread fraying slowly.Like candles left too long to burn,we flicker,we fade. Some pray still,others no longer bother.Some have accepted,while many just wait —not for healing,but for an end,for sleep,for peace. This is a kind of living death,where every hourfeels borrowedand heavy. Eyes once fullnow hollow with misery,heads bowed not in reverence,but exhaustion. And yet,there is love.Relatives come,gentle hands and quiet words,doing all they canto ease the sorrow. In this bright roomwhere light feels harsh,the cruel machine sings on.It saves us —but never frees us. You feel the cold tunnel stretch,long and without mercy.And so I whisper:God, if this is Your will,let me not resist. Teach me to bear thiswithout burdening those I hold dear.Let my sufferingnot dim their light. If I must fade,let it bewith dignity,with grace,like a candle —still glowingas it goes.

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To Melody, My Life’s Gentle Song

Noe Lineses — Mon, 19 May 2025 10:53:36 +0000

My dearest wife, my breath, my light,You hold me close through darkest night.In this long valley of tears I tread,It’s your love that lifts my weary head. That March day marked the cruel start—The pain that pierced both flesh and heart.Suffering came, silent and wide,And I lay near death, with none beside. But in that cold and sterile place,I longed once more to see your face.Not for farewell, nor last goodbyes,But just to look into your eyes. By grace alone, I lived once more,To face the weight that dialysis bore.Yet by my side, you gently stay,Warming each unforgiving day. You, my love, so pure, so true,A quiet soul the heavens drew. You smile at jokes so simple, so small,And somehow, you rise above it all.Your heart still bears the deepest scar—From Nico’s pain that traveled far. Oh how you’ve suffered, how you’ve cried,When cancer came and our son died.And yet, you love without regret,With strength I never can forget. I’m sorry for the wrongs I’ve done,For not being always the worthy one.But God, in mercy, kept me still—To love you more, to learn His will. I do not wish to weigh your days,With burdens born from broken ways.So I pray, my love, for peace divine,That God may draw His mercy line. Melody, my wife, my grace, my dove—You are my strength, my endless love.Forever yours, through joy and strife,I love you more than words give life.

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Para kay Melody Cataquis Lineses

Noe Lineses — Mon, 19 May 2025 10:47:26 +0000

Sa bawat araw ng hirap at lumbay,Ikaw ang kasama kong lagi at tunayWalang yaman, walang aliw—tanging ‘yong kamay,Ang bumubuhat sa’kin tuwing ako’y bumibigay. Napakarami mong pinagdaanang sakit,Mula nang si Nico’y kunin sa atin ng langit.Ngunit patuloy kang nagmamahal ng buo,Sa bawat pag-aalaga, pagluha, at pagsuyo. Masakit sa’kin na ikaw ay magsakripisyo,Kung puwede lang, ako na ang magdala nito.Ngunit sa ‘yong ngiti, ako’y nahihimlay,Sa ‘yong yakap, ako’y muling nabubuhay. Payak, tapat, at matatag sa lahat,Tuloy lumalaban kahit tayo’y salatMelody, mahal ko, tanglaw ng buhay—Ikaw ang puso ko, lakas ko at gabay.

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